i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize