I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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