What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
