He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
