Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
