You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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