just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
