Apparently you make a good broom.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
