the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
