Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
