Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
