I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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