is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
