You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
