I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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