Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Found the puke drawer
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
