If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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