I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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