I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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