I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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