i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
