I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
