the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
