Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
