their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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