I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
