I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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