i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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