a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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