Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
