I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
