bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Still dying that you shit outside
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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