Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
