Sry I called you an 8
we have pet lesbian snakes
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
