I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
