Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
