We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
