Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
