she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
