The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
did i just pee glitter
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
