hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
