we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
two words: eviction party
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
