Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
