See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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