I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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