I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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