words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
