She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How external is "for external use only"?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
