I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
