Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
