I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize