Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
