I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
