And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
