I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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