Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
