i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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