return my video game
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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