she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
